I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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