I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
