roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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