She is in my trunk
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize