Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(940): View more from Texas

I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.

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(404): View more from Georgia

No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.

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(404): View more from Georgia

So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?

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(310): View more from California

Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.

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