Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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