Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We're too hungover to prance.
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