Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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