with your own penis?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
