...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
