hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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