My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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