I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
