This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize