I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
