Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
They are going to name an STD after you.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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