so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
