she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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