ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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