He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
