And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize