Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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