So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
