You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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