Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
