I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
