hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
