Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
What drink are we having for lunch?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize