A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
