she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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