she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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