Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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