i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
