Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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