hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
