Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
