it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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