Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
