I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
