So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
