remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
