5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
