I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
