i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
