don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
