Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
