I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize