i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
