I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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