Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
