covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
