No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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