Ketchup is God's man juice
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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