yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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