i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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