I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have fence marks all over my body
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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