can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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