Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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