NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
