I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize