His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
