I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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